we them ol' boys raised on shotguns
Eh, this meme I got from Joey has been on my mind for a bit, so let's get down to it and kill some time before the thought of ending Spring Break and going back to class makes me want to club a seal...
A favorite political track...
It's easy to know where Hank Williams, Jr. stands on a lot of things, whether it's readiness for football (good) or rowdy friends settling down (bad). This is no different in terms of politics. During my third year of college, I downloaded a clutch of Bocephus' work based on title alone. While I intentionally started it out with "All My Rowdy Friends Are Comin' Over" and ended with "All My Rowdy Friends Have Settled Down" to give it a bit of symmetry, the rest of the mix didn't really have any intentional sequencing. I hadn't even heard half the stuff before the CD ended up being burned. One of the consequences of this random shuffling was that there was a three song stretch towards the end that captured the entirety of his worldview: "If The South Woulda Won," "Tired Of Being Johnny B. Goode" and "A Country Boy Can Survive." It actually gives somewhat of an interesting arc to his political views. I'm not saying this to be arch or ironic, but between those three songs, I learned a lot about dealing with southern guys, which is no mean feat if you grow up in Philadelphia.
First off, as you can expect, "If The South Would've Won" is one of the most hilarious songs ever recorded. Save for Maryland, every state of the Confederacy is given a shout out in terms of what quality they have that could be conglomerated, Voltron-like, and make America a better place. The chorus goes "if the south woulda won, we'da have it made/I'd probably run for president of the southern states," before declaring various holidays commemorating Skynyrd, Elvis and Patsy Cline. Every single line seems to warrant analyis...
I'd make my Supreme Court in Texas/and there wouldn't be no killers gettin' off free/If they were proven guilty/Then they would swing quickly/Instead of writin' books and smilin' on TV
I agree: Mumia Abu Jamal is smilin' on TV too much. Or, if read another way, he advocates lynching of The Killers. I'm not looking forward to Brandon Flowers penning a treatise on his harrowing beef with The Bravery.
We'd all learn Cajun cookin' in Louisiana
Fair enough. Seems like a good place to learn that particular art, although I think it leaves us vulnerable to Al-Qaeda if we're all in Lousiana at the same time.
And I'd put that capital back in Alabama
Huh? Did Montgomery run off to Virginia and become Richmond or something? This one has me very, very confused.
We'd put Florida on the right track/'cause we'd take Miami back/and put all of them pushers in the slammer
Taken in combination with the Texas suggestion, Hank seems to favor a police state, which you think would go against his persona. And moreover, who'd have thought that he'd advocate something that would reduce the availability of drugs. I guess this shows the more civic-minded aspect of Hank, in that he's willing to sacrifice a little nose candy for the greater good. And by the way, you know "Cubans" got changed to "pushers" at the last minute.
I'd have all the whiskey made in Tennessee
You see, this rogue whiskey from Massachussetts is really what has made this country weak.
And all the horses in those Kentucky hills
Even in the New Confederation, Kentucky still has very little to offer.
The national treasury would be in Tupelo, Mississippi/and I'd put Hank Williams' picture on a one-hundred dollar bill!
Okay, if you have been taking this seriously up to this point, here's a good place to stop. Although I do like the self-promoting currency idea, as also seen on Cappadonna being on the $20 bill, and Staten Island apparently having a $30 bill. But the fact that he's even considered where such important and not particularly sexy governmental agencies would be located shows you he really put some thought into this.
I'd have all the cars made in Carolina/and ban all the ones made in China
Ah, Hank is an economic isolationist. However, this brings up the issue of whether the Cacklacks are renowned for car making as opposed to car racing. And I guess he can ban the cars made in China with no appreciable decline in automotive quality. I wouldn't put it past Hank that he wouldn't know the difference between the Chinese and the Japanese. I'm also guessing that a trade embargo with China would be the result of their Communist regime, and certainly not because it rhymes with "Carolina."
I'd have every girl child sent to Georgia to learn to smile/and talk with that southern accent/it drives me wild
Hank Williams, Jr. has never been to Emory.
I'd have all the fiddles made in Virginia/'cause they sure make 'em sound so fine
He better have a good reason for not outsourcing all the moonshining to Virginia....oh, wait....
I'd go to Wolverton Mountain and see ol' Clifton Clowers/and have a sip of his good ol' Arkansas wine
Since Virginia is well-known as the capital of moonshining (I see you Franklin County!), I was able to partake in a decent amount during college. Some of it is surprisingly smooth, some of it tastes like wine that was left near a radiator for too long and some of it made me throw up almost on contact. I'll tell you what, though: I bet Arkansas wine is way more badass, considering that it's one of the few states that doubles as an adjective. In fact, some Arkansas wine sounds really good right now; I just hope I get the right mixture of Ripple and battery acid this time.
So there's "If The South Woulda Won," which details the more benevolent, often charming and good-natured Southern pride. But then there's "Tired Of Being Johnny B. Goode," a weary, addled rant that would be as racist as dead prez if its chorus ("I'm tired of being Johnny B. Goode and I'm gonna be Johnny Reb) was only half-intentional. It's a bit of the flipside to "If The South Woulda Won," since rather than extolling the South's virtues, it's a laundry list of complaints about the modern world, including but not limited to gas prices and instant iced tea. I swear, by the end of it, you're ready for him to complain about not having paper towels in the studio or something.
"Tired" shows a darker, borderline-appalling take on the southern mindset, but "A Country Boy Can Survive" feels scary and bloody in its reclusiveness. This is muic that sounds like it came from a Montana compound. Maybe other than "Family Tradition," which is beyond examination, "Country Boy" might be the best Hank Williams, Jr. song out there. A lot of his work has to be taken with a grain of salt and a pull of Beam, but "Country Boy" was serious Hank, and it's just very well-written. Rather than the somewhat cornpone alt-country farm mythlogizing of Uncle Tupelo or Bruce Springsteen, this feels real, the kind of stuff you don't listen to because empathy for the Depression Era feels cool. In essence, the song's protagonist is someone who lives off the land and is completely self-sufficient. The climax comes when his friend moves to New York to be a biz-a-ness-man and gets mugged and killed for 43 dollars. Hank wants to go find his killer and shoot him after spitting BeechNut in his eye. But he's not going to. He's just going to go about his business on his farm and keep doing what he's doing, just like all the other people in West Virginia, Northern California and South Alabam'.
The reason I find this song so interesting is because it seems to illustrate the dichotomy between what a lot of southern college students (fraternity members in particular) think they are and what they actually are. They love this song. You can see it with the camo hats, the Ducks Unlimited, the pickup trucks; they want you to think that they actually could spend their time tending to the land instead of living in Atlanta. You'll hear a lot of these types making fun of rap music, because they think it's wrong to "pretend you're black," whereas I guess pretending that you actually belong in AGR is okay.
Hmm...maybe that's book territory. Glad I wrote that.
One of those tracks that will make you dance on the dance floor no matter what...
Guess what- after two long years of struggle, I listened to "Echoes," and it actually sounded pretty good all the way throughout! But seriously, who was calling this a "dance punk" album? How the hell are you supposed to dance to "Heaven," and oh yeah, there's the little issue of a fucking piano ballad in waltz time being the third fucking song.
But the reason I was willing to give "Echoes" second chance after second chance (which I guess make them third and fourth chances, but let's not get into semantics), is that "House Of Jealous Lovers" is still fucking badass. I mean, I don't even know what dancing even looks like anymore, but I imagine that I'd turn the place out if that came on.
Another song that will send me to the verge of dancing is "Cold Rock A Party," and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm likely to never hear this footnote of the Puffy Era played anywhere outside my iPod earbuds, so I'll never have to act on this boast.
The song you'd use to tell someone you love them...
What happens at hipster weddings? I mean, with the music and all that? I'm assuming that some hipsters eventually get married and have jobs and have weddings where families are invited and stuff. And I'm fairly certain that wedding party playlists have been locked since 1986. How can a hipster refuse to play "Shout!" or "Love Shack"? Maybe this is how Motown music became a cause celebre. I mean, take a look at the next indie record store clerk you see on the street; does this look like someone who voluntarily puts on Smokey Robinson in his free time? But anyways, I sometimes wonder if I'll get to control the set at my wedding. If I do, not only is "Pony" getting played, but I'm banking that I'll be able to actually get Ginuwine to sing it right there.
"Pony," however, is not the answer to this question, nor is the presumably popular "Me And My Bitch," which is a great song, but probably resonates with people in this context because they want to be able to say the word "bitch" with impunity. How about this: can I put down "I Don't Like The Look Of It" by Da BackWudz, because I love and understand Megan enough not to play it when she's in earshot?
A song you know would sell lots of VWs (or iPods, or whatever) if they paid for it...
Big Tymers, "Get Your Roll On." Right Guard, you totally missed the boat. Also, why some phone company hasn't gotten Mike Jones to hawk their wares is beyond me.
A song that forced you to sit down and analyze its lyrics...
Well, if you'll excuse "If The South Woulda Won"...But anyways, the other day, it was Friday, St. Patrick's Day, 75 and sunny. Not to mention the last real day of Spring Break and the second day of the NCAA Tournament. Needless to say, I didn't have to use my A.K. I threw on my celebratory rap mix on the way to luncheon with the better half, and I only listened to one verse the entire way: Ghostface on "It's Yourz." There's so much vivid imagery in the entire song it's almost unfair, but Ghost might've rocked the most flavorest 16 bars of all time. Just check out these lines...
With third down, six to go/Pass the strobelight/I'm open, RZA hit me off lovely and I love him/With root beer thoughts/Here's a tennis court for your birthday/The Babyface of rap politick with Sade.
It's like what GZA said about Inspectah Deck's verse from "Triumph" in "The Wu-Tang Manual"; to paraphrase, he says that an average rapper would say "my shorty's bringing a gat to the club," whereas Deck said "black Wu jackets, queen bees ease the guns in." Ghost's lyrics up there work the same way; you have to work a little bit to catch what he means, but they're not impenetrable (I love the wordplay on "Nutmeg," but anyone who claims they can decipher the first verse is a liar). He's dealing with simple notions, like rocking a crowd, materialism, etc., but he speaks on it so vibrantly. It's the closest thing I do to reading poetry. And people ask me why I'm not feeling Lil' Wayne.
A song that you like that a two-year-old would like too...
I'll go with Ween's "Ocean Man," even though the line about the "overman" would be a bit above the comprehension of the average two-year old.
A song that makes you drive too fast...
Well, the last time I got pulled over for speeding, it was the summer of 2001, and I was rocking Jimmy Eat World's "Bleed American." I mean, I had JEW on at most times in the summer of 2001. The good thing was that I was pulled over by the campus cops, and I said I had no knowledge that the speed limit was 20 or whatever. She then asked if I was new on campus, to which I replied yes. You know, because 21-year old prefroshs are typical even outside of BYU.
In terms of running too fast, we'll go with The Go! Team's "Huddle Formation." I've held that I might be able to win Olympic weightlifting events if I was allowed to listen to Ted Nugent's "Stranglehold." And I think the same goes for the 100-yard dash if I had "Huddle Formation" in my headset.
A song that makes you feel like kicking someone's ass...
At first, I thought about something like "My Humps" or "Hollaback Girl." But I'm thinking that those songs make me want to kick the ass of the people who made them. And every time I hear even a snippet of "Where's The Love," I just want to knock the fucking face off of complete strangers. But in terms of songs I'd voluntarily play, "Wait And Bleed" by Slipknot is pure violence, and pure violence is best exuded by double kick drums. I'd also give a vote in for "Tear Da Club Up"; it's probably cliche at this point seeing as how it's rumored that clubs in the midwest couldn't play it anymore, but damned if it doesn't make me want to tear da club up, which is rare since I don't tear shit up nor go to clubs in the first place.
A song that both you and your grandparents (probably) would like...
Uh, unless I start knocking Al Jolson, I have no idea.
The song you'd send to someone you hated...
People I hate don't deserve the attention, and moreover, anything I send them would probably be over their heads. Kool Keith's "Sex Style" and "I Don't Play" might be a little too obtuse. But if we're talking about unmistakable malevolence, "Drop A Gem On 'Em" by Mobb Deep gets the nod. Mostly because they hate 2Pac almost as much as I do, except their beef is real. Okay, it doesn't have their best threat ("take these words home and think 'em through/or the next rhyme I write might be about you"), but "what you don't think you can get bucked again?" is a close second, especially since he actually did get bucked again, so to speak. But what I like about this is that Mobb sounds like they don't regret writing that shit one bit.
A sad instrumental song that would be on the soundtrack to a movie about your life...
I'm not sure if it's actually sad or not, but Radiohead's "Hunting Bears" would be a good choice to score the crippling paint thinner addiction of my youth.
The peppy song that would start the opening credits on the soundtrack to the movie about your life...
"Range Life" by Pavement; I fail to see how this hasn't been used for a credit rollover yet. Plus, this solves the problem of dealing with the various personal beefs I've had with some of the more popular alt-rock bands of the mid-90's. Dean DeLeo, I haven't forgot that shit that went down at Bennigan's.
An a cappella song...
Scratch the surface of any hip-hop loving 20-something, and you'll reveal a kid who prayed to Jebus that Shai's "If I Ever Fall In Love" didn't come on the radio when they were in their parent's car. That, along with Silk's "Freak Me" attempted to make a lot of my commute back and forth to Hebrew school very uncomfortable. I'll also have to bring up Elliott Smith's "I Didn't Understand," which makes me wonder if a song makes you want to stab yourself in the chest, can it really be good? I think I've said this before, but I'm tempted to graft "Ignition" onto the end of my copy of "X/O" just so I realize I have so much to live for.
A good song from a genre of music that no one could guess that you liked...
Depends if you consider "shit" to be a genre of music. But anyways, back in college, I was a DJ at WNRN in Charlottesville, which is the main alt-rock station in the area. While it's pretty forward-thinking and you would've never confused us with the guys at the "rock" station that looked like child molesters, there's still a playlist we have to stick to. The basic layout is that there's "A" rotation (at the time, stuff like White Stripes, Linkin Park, etc.), "B" rotation (maybe something like Travis, Sevendust, etc.) and "C" rotation (The Shins when they first started out, Clinic, etc.). After a while, a popular song that rises to "A" rotation falls back down the ladder and eventually ends up in "R" rotation, meaning "recent." It still gets played, but just not as much. And I'm pretty sure that my time at the station followed the path of Nickelback's "This Is How You Remind" me from start to finish. Even deep into spring of 2002, I don't think there was one shift I ever did where that song wasn't played. And keep in mind I did a show once a week for two hours. I'm not sure if it's the Stockholm Syndrome talking, but I'll be honest: I think it kinda rocks. At the very least, it's one of the few songs that's come out in recent years that's actually fun to play on guitar. Those are some beefy chords, brah! Kids these days, with their single-note riffs and "angular" guitars...
A song you think should have been playing when you were born...
I'd like to think if Prodigy's "H.N.I.C." came out a decade earlier, the doctor would have the decency to realize that it was written about me.
A favorite artist duo collaboration...
I have a friend in New York that has probably already broke six-figures in salary, but he spent a good portion of our final semester at UVA looking for this song that he tenuously recalled and thought was a collaboration between Journey and Foreigner. By the way, ladies- he's taken. Anyways, it turns out he was thinking of "Feelin' That Way," and the clash of the titans between Journey and Foreigner was a figment of his imagination. But I like to think that it actually went down, so in theory, that's my favorite collabo.
But if we're going to talk about duos that actually happened, we've gotta go with "Ride Like The Wind," because before then, I imagine harnessing the superpowers of Michael McDonald and Christopher Cross and restricting them to one studio was considered an impossible task. Actually, any McDonald collaboration is worthwhile, whether it's with Patti LaBelle or that jah mo be there song. If there's a track he laced that wasn't solid gold, I haven't heard it.
A favorite song that you completely disagree with (politically, morally, religiously, etc.)...
Hipsters and hippies are two of the most generally loathesome people, and Devendra Banhart (and to a lesser extent, Animal Collective) represents the meeting point between them. I sometimes wonder if he's just a more indie take on Rusted Root. Whenever I listen to "Cripple Crow," I think of kids at Jewish youth group retreats. I heard he actually asks the audience at his shows if "they have any songs to share" and invites volunteers up to play them. Which I guess might be marginally worse than what I expect from him, which is getting everyone he ever shroomed with in San Francisco to jam for hours on end. Nevertheless, I like a lot of his stuff, even with the nonsense, dippy lyrics, overly precious delivery and flowerchild politics. I'd just never want to hang out with him.
Your smooth song for relaxing...
Maybe we'll go with Broken Social Scene's "Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl." One of the all-time consensus builders amongst indie kids; if people know this song, odds are they love it.
A song that you don't like but would play loud to annoy the neighbors...
Well, everything Deerhoof has ever done has annoyed the shit out of me, so I guess this would do the trick. Really, I can't think of anything this band does that can realistically be considered "good."
A favorite song that's about sports or a sport...
Kool Keith, "N.B.A." Listening to the entirety of "Spankmaster" is not for the weak-willed or people without a lot of time on their hands, but a track like "N.B.A." makes it all occasionally worthwhile. It's not really even about the Association, so much as it is yet another avenue for Keith to attack wack rappers. Observe,
Why don't you awkward n****s stop rhymin and take a birth control pill/Jackson got you gassed, ask Phil/I'm not impressed with your full court press/Girls with Tyra Banks weaves and Lisa Raye's complexion can step up to the foul line for an AIDS test/My jewelry like big trucks/I don't care if you flash your Milwaukee Bucks.
Uh, word.
A favorite track from an outfit that's considered a "super group"...
I don't think the Zwan project get enough of a chance, and "Honestly" is a pretty terrific song on a pretty good album. But this is no contest: "Get This Money," from the Jay-Z/R. Kelly "Best Of Both Worlds" album. This blog simply isn't big enough for me to truly explain why this is no contest, so it's book territory.
The song that makes you want to drink more beer...
I have something like 5400 songs in my iPod, and every single one of them makes me want to drink more beer. Life makes me want to drink more beer. But I guess to answer this question properly and make my alcoholism seem a little less raging, I'll break it down into categories. I remember getting a lot of play out of the "1965" album from the Afghan Whigs during Beach Week, and that seems to fit the sort of misanthropic, looking-for-trouble drinking when you have no choice but to go to the Spanish Fucking Galleon. Not drinking beer when Ryan Adams is on seems almost negligent; for whatever reason, that's the sort of stuff that goes well with having a beer on a crisp fall day. And "Summerteeth" is the official soundtrack for unseasonable warmth; that CD puts me on the lawn of my fraternity house, playing wiffle ball in shorts even though it's only 63 degrees out in February.
But I'm thinking that this question implies a sort of "what makes you want to drink more beer alone" angle, and I'll go with "Women Without Whiskey" by the Drive-By Truckers. They're another band whose music is obviously geared towards alcohol consumption, but this song in particular is just resignation in its purest sense, sort of like drinking alone.
A favorite political track...
It's easy to know where Hank Williams, Jr. stands on a lot of things, whether it's readiness for football (good) or rowdy friends settling down (bad). This is no different in terms of politics. During my third year of college, I downloaded a clutch of Bocephus' work based on title alone. While I intentionally started it out with "All My Rowdy Friends Are Comin' Over" and ended with "All My Rowdy Friends Have Settled Down" to give it a bit of symmetry, the rest of the mix didn't really have any intentional sequencing. I hadn't even heard half the stuff before the CD ended up being burned. One of the consequences of this random shuffling was that there was a three song stretch towards the end that captured the entirety of his worldview: "If The South Woulda Won," "Tired Of Being Johnny B. Goode" and "A Country Boy Can Survive." It actually gives somewhat of an interesting arc to his political views. I'm not saying this to be arch or ironic, but between those three songs, I learned a lot about dealing with southern guys, which is no mean feat if you grow up in Philadelphia.
First off, as you can expect, "If The South Would've Won" is one of the most hilarious songs ever recorded. Save for Maryland, every state of the Confederacy is given a shout out in terms of what quality they have that could be conglomerated, Voltron-like, and make America a better place. The chorus goes "if the south woulda won, we'da have it made/I'd probably run for president of the southern states," before declaring various holidays commemorating Skynyrd, Elvis and Patsy Cline. Every single line seems to warrant analyis...
I'd make my Supreme Court in Texas/and there wouldn't be no killers gettin' off free/If they were proven guilty/Then they would swing quickly/Instead of writin' books and smilin' on TV
I agree: Mumia Abu Jamal is smilin' on TV too much. Or, if read another way, he advocates lynching of The Killers. I'm not looking forward to Brandon Flowers penning a treatise on his harrowing beef with The Bravery.
We'd all learn Cajun cookin' in Louisiana
Fair enough. Seems like a good place to learn that particular art, although I think it leaves us vulnerable to Al-Qaeda if we're all in Lousiana at the same time.
And I'd put that capital back in Alabama
Huh? Did Montgomery run off to Virginia and become Richmond or something? This one has me very, very confused.
We'd put Florida on the right track/'cause we'd take Miami back/and put all of them pushers in the slammer
Taken in combination with the Texas suggestion, Hank seems to favor a police state, which you think would go against his persona. And moreover, who'd have thought that he'd advocate something that would reduce the availability of drugs. I guess this shows the more civic-minded aspect of Hank, in that he's willing to sacrifice a little nose candy for the greater good. And by the way, you know "Cubans" got changed to "pushers" at the last minute.
I'd have all the whiskey made in Tennessee
You see, this rogue whiskey from Massachussetts is really what has made this country weak.
And all the horses in those Kentucky hills
Even in the New Confederation, Kentucky still has very little to offer.
The national treasury would be in Tupelo, Mississippi/and I'd put Hank Williams' picture on a one-hundred dollar bill!
Okay, if you have been taking this seriously up to this point, here's a good place to stop. Although I do like the self-promoting currency idea, as also seen on Cappadonna being on the $20 bill, and Staten Island apparently having a $30 bill. But the fact that he's even considered where such important and not particularly sexy governmental agencies would be located shows you he really put some thought into this.
I'd have all the cars made in Carolina/and ban all the ones made in China
Ah, Hank is an economic isolationist. However, this brings up the issue of whether the Cacklacks are renowned for car making as opposed to car racing. And I guess he can ban the cars made in China with no appreciable decline in automotive quality. I wouldn't put it past Hank that he wouldn't know the difference between the Chinese and the Japanese. I'm also guessing that a trade embargo with China would be the result of their Communist regime, and certainly not because it rhymes with "Carolina."
I'd have every girl child sent to Georgia to learn to smile/and talk with that southern accent/it drives me wild
Hank Williams, Jr. has never been to Emory.
I'd have all the fiddles made in Virginia/'cause they sure make 'em sound so fine
He better have a good reason for not outsourcing all the moonshining to Virginia....oh, wait....
I'd go to Wolverton Mountain and see ol' Clifton Clowers/and have a sip of his good ol' Arkansas wine
Since Virginia is well-known as the capital of moonshining (I see you Franklin County!), I was able to partake in a decent amount during college. Some of it is surprisingly smooth, some of it tastes like wine that was left near a radiator for too long and some of it made me throw up almost on contact. I'll tell you what, though: I bet Arkansas wine is way more badass, considering that it's one of the few states that doubles as an adjective. In fact, some Arkansas wine sounds really good right now; I just hope I get the right mixture of Ripple and battery acid this time.
So there's "If The South Woulda Won," which details the more benevolent, often charming and good-natured Southern pride. But then there's "Tired Of Being Johnny B. Goode," a weary, addled rant that would be as racist as dead prez if its chorus ("I'm tired of being Johnny B. Goode and I'm gonna be Johnny Reb) was only half-intentional. It's a bit of the flipside to "If The South Woulda Won," since rather than extolling the South's virtues, it's a laundry list of complaints about the modern world, including but not limited to gas prices and instant iced tea. I swear, by the end of it, you're ready for him to complain about not having paper towels in the studio or something.
"Tired" shows a darker, borderline-appalling take on the southern mindset, but "A Country Boy Can Survive" feels scary and bloody in its reclusiveness. This is muic that sounds like it came from a Montana compound. Maybe other than "Family Tradition," which is beyond examination, "Country Boy" might be the best Hank Williams, Jr. song out there. A lot of his work has to be taken with a grain of salt and a pull of Beam, but "Country Boy" was serious Hank, and it's just very well-written. Rather than the somewhat cornpone alt-country farm mythlogizing of Uncle Tupelo or Bruce Springsteen, this feels real, the kind of stuff you don't listen to because empathy for the Depression Era feels cool. In essence, the song's protagonist is someone who lives off the land and is completely self-sufficient. The climax comes when his friend moves to New York to be a biz-a-ness-man and gets mugged and killed for 43 dollars. Hank wants to go find his killer and shoot him after spitting BeechNut in his eye. But he's not going to. He's just going to go about his business on his farm and keep doing what he's doing, just like all the other people in West Virginia, Northern California and South Alabam'.
The reason I find this song so interesting is because it seems to illustrate the dichotomy between what a lot of southern college students (fraternity members in particular) think they are and what they actually are. They love this song. You can see it with the camo hats, the Ducks Unlimited, the pickup trucks; they want you to think that they actually could spend their time tending to the land instead of living in Atlanta. You'll hear a lot of these types making fun of rap music, because they think it's wrong to "pretend you're black," whereas I guess pretending that you actually belong in AGR is okay.
Hmm...maybe that's book territory. Glad I wrote that.
One of those tracks that will make you dance on the dance floor no matter what...
Guess what- after two long years of struggle, I listened to "Echoes," and it actually sounded pretty good all the way throughout! But seriously, who was calling this a "dance punk" album? How the hell are you supposed to dance to "Heaven," and oh yeah, there's the little issue of a fucking piano ballad in waltz time being the third fucking song.
But the reason I was willing to give "Echoes" second chance after second chance (which I guess make them third and fourth chances, but let's not get into semantics), is that "House Of Jealous Lovers" is still fucking badass. I mean, I don't even know what dancing even looks like anymore, but I imagine that I'd turn the place out if that came on.
Another song that will send me to the verge of dancing is "Cold Rock A Party," and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm likely to never hear this footnote of the Puffy Era played anywhere outside my iPod earbuds, so I'll never have to act on this boast.
The song you'd use to tell someone you love them...
What happens at hipster weddings? I mean, with the music and all that? I'm assuming that some hipsters eventually get married and have jobs and have weddings where families are invited and stuff. And I'm fairly certain that wedding party playlists have been locked since 1986. How can a hipster refuse to play "Shout!" or "Love Shack"? Maybe this is how Motown music became a cause celebre. I mean, take a look at the next indie record store clerk you see on the street; does this look like someone who voluntarily puts on Smokey Robinson in his free time? But anyways, I sometimes wonder if I'll get to control the set at my wedding. If I do, not only is "Pony" getting played, but I'm banking that I'll be able to actually get Ginuwine to sing it right there.
"Pony," however, is not the answer to this question, nor is the presumably popular "Me And My Bitch," which is a great song, but probably resonates with people in this context because they want to be able to say the word "bitch" with impunity. How about this: can I put down "I Don't Like The Look Of It" by Da BackWudz, because I love and understand Megan enough not to play it when she's in earshot?
A song you know would sell lots of VWs (or iPods, or whatever) if they paid for it...
Big Tymers, "Get Your Roll On." Right Guard, you totally missed the boat. Also, why some phone company hasn't gotten Mike Jones to hawk their wares is beyond me.
A song that forced you to sit down and analyze its lyrics...
Well, if you'll excuse "If The South Woulda Won"...But anyways, the other day, it was Friday, St. Patrick's Day, 75 and sunny. Not to mention the last real day of Spring Break and the second day of the NCAA Tournament. Needless to say, I didn't have to use my A.K. I threw on my celebratory rap mix on the way to luncheon with the better half, and I only listened to one verse the entire way: Ghostface on "It's Yourz." There's so much vivid imagery in the entire song it's almost unfair, but Ghost might've rocked the most flavorest 16 bars of all time. Just check out these lines...
With third down, six to go/Pass the strobelight/I'm open, RZA hit me off lovely and I love him/With root beer thoughts/Here's a tennis court for your birthday/The Babyface of rap politick with Sade.
It's like what GZA said about Inspectah Deck's verse from "Triumph" in "The Wu-Tang Manual"; to paraphrase, he says that an average rapper would say "my shorty's bringing a gat to the club," whereas Deck said "black Wu jackets, queen bees ease the guns in." Ghost's lyrics up there work the same way; you have to work a little bit to catch what he means, but they're not impenetrable (I love the wordplay on "Nutmeg," but anyone who claims they can decipher the first verse is a liar). He's dealing with simple notions, like rocking a crowd, materialism, etc., but he speaks on it so vibrantly. It's the closest thing I do to reading poetry. And people ask me why I'm not feeling Lil' Wayne.
A song that you like that a two-year-old would like too...
I'll go with Ween's "Ocean Man," even though the line about the "overman" would be a bit above the comprehension of the average two-year old.
A song that makes you drive too fast...
Well, the last time I got pulled over for speeding, it was the summer of 2001, and I was rocking Jimmy Eat World's "Bleed American." I mean, I had JEW on at most times in the summer of 2001. The good thing was that I was pulled over by the campus cops, and I said I had no knowledge that the speed limit was 20 or whatever. She then asked if I was new on campus, to which I replied yes. You know, because 21-year old prefroshs are typical even outside of BYU.
In terms of running too fast, we'll go with The Go! Team's "Huddle Formation." I've held that I might be able to win Olympic weightlifting events if I was allowed to listen to Ted Nugent's "Stranglehold." And I think the same goes for the 100-yard dash if I had "Huddle Formation" in my headset.
A song that makes you feel like kicking someone's ass...
At first, I thought about something like "My Humps" or "Hollaback Girl." But I'm thinking that those songs make me want to kick the ass of the people who made them. And every time I hear even a snippet of "Where's The Love," I just want to knock the fucking face off of complete strangers. But in terms of songs I'd voluntarily play, "Wait And Bleed" by Slipknot is pure violence, and pure violence is best exuded by double kick drums. I'd also give a vote in for "Tear Da Club Up"; it's probably cliche at this point seeing as how it's rumored that clubs in the midwest couldn't play it anymore, but damned if it doesn't make me want to tear da club up, which is rare since I don't tear shit up nor go to clubs in the first place.
A song that both you and your grandparents (probably) would like...
Uh, unless I start knocking Al Jolson, I have no idea.
The song you'd send to someone you hated...
People I hate don't deserve the attention, and moreover, anything I send them would probably be over their heads. Kool Keith's "Sex Style" and "I Don't Play" might be a little too obtuse. But if we're talking about unmistakable malevolence, "Drop A Gem On 'Em" by Mobb Deep gets the nod. Mostly because they hate 2Pac almost as much as I do, except their beef is real. Okay, it doesn't have their best threat ("take these words home and think 'em through/or the next rhyme I write might be about you"), but "what you don't think you can get bucked again?" is a close second, especially since he actually did get bucked again, so to speak. But what I like about this is that Mobb sounds like they don't regret writing that shit one bit.
A sad instrumental song that would be on the soundtrack to a movie about your life...
I'm not sure if it's actually sad or not, but Radiohead's "Hunting Bears" would be a good choice to score the crippling paint thinner addiction of my youth.
The peppy song that would start the opening credits on the soundtrack to the movie about your life...
"Range Life" by Pavement; I fail to see how this hasn't been used for a credit rollover yet. Plus, this solves the problem of dealing with the various personal beefs I've had with some of the more popular alt-rock bands of the mid-90's. Dean DeLeo, I haven't forgot that shit that went down at Bennigan's.
An a cappella song...
Scratch the surface of any hip-hop loving 20-something, and you'll reveal a kid who prayed to Jebus that Shai's "If I Ever Fall In Love" didn't come on the radio when they were in their parent's car. That, along with Silk's "Freak Me" attempted to make a lot of my commute back and forth to Hebrew school very uncomfortable. I'll also have to bring up Elliott Smith's "I Didn't Understand," which makes me wonder if a song makes you want to stab yourself in the chest, can it really be good? I think I've said this before, but I'm tempted to graft "Ignition" onto the end of my copy of "X/O" just so I realize I have so much to live for.
A good song from a genre of music that no one could guess that you liked...
Depends if you consider "shit" to be a genre of music. But anyways, back in college, I was a DJ at WNRN in Charlottesville, which is the main alt-rock station in the area. While it's pretty forward-thinking and you would've never confused us with the guys at the "rock" station that looked like child molesters, there's still a playlist we have to stick to. The basic layout is that there's "A" rotation (at the time, stuff like White Stripes, Linkin Park, etc.), "B" rotation (maybe something like Travis, Sevendust, etc.) and "C" rotation (The Shins when they first started out, Clinic, etc.). After a while, a popular song that rises to "A" rotation falls back down the ladder and eventually ends up in "R" rotation, meaning "recent." It still gets played, but just not as much. And I'm pretty sure that my time at the station followed the path of Nickelback's "This Is How You Remind" me from start to finish. Even deep into spring of 2002, I don't think there was one shift I ever did where that song wasn't played. And keep in mind I did a show once a week for two hours. I'm not sure if it's the Stockholm Syndrome talking, but I'll be honest: I think it kinda rocks. At the very least, it's one of the few songs that's come out in recent years that's actually fun to play on guitar. Those are some beefy chords, brah! Kids these days, with their single-note riffs and "angular" guitars...
A song you think should have been playing when you were born...
I'd like to think if Prodigy's "H.N.I.C." came out a decade earlier, the doctor would have the decency to realize that it was written about me.
A favorite artist duo collaboration...
I have a friend in New York that has probably already broke six-figures in salary, but he spent a good portion of our final semester at UVA looking for this song that he tenuously recalled and thought was a collaboration between Journey and Foreigner. By the way, ladies- he's taken. Anyways, it turns out he was thinking of "Feelin' That Way," and the clash of the titans between Journey and Foreigner was a figment of his imagination. But I like to think that it actually went down, so in theory, that's my favorite collabo.
But if we're going to talk about duos that actually happened, we've gotta go with "Ride Like The Wind," because before then, I imagine harnessing the superpowers of Michael McDonald and Christopher Cross and restricting them to one studio was considered an impossible task. Actually, any McDonald collaboration is worthwhile, whether it's with Patti LaBelle or that jah mo be there song. If there's a track he laced that wasn't solid gold, I haven't heard it.
A favorite song that you completely disagree with (politically, morally, religiously, etc.)...
Hipsters and hippies are two of the most generally loathesome people, and Devendra Banhart (and to a lesser extent, Animal Collective) represents the meeting point between them. I sometimes wonder if he's just a more indie take on Rusted Root. Whenever I listen to "Cripple Crow," I think of kids at Jewish youth group retreats. I heard he actually asks the audience at his shows if "they have any songs to share" and invites volunteers up to play them. Which I guess might be marginally worse than what I expect from him, which is getting everyone he ever shroomed with in San Francisco to jam for hours on end. Nevertheless, I like a lot of his stuff, even with the nonsense, dippy lyrics, overly precious delivery and flowerchild politics. I'd just never want to hang out with him.
Your smooth song for relaxing...
Maybe we'll go with Broken Social Scene's "Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl." One of the all-time consensus builders amongst indie kids; if people know this song, odds are they love it.
A song that you don't like but would play loud to annoy the neighbors...
Well, everything Deerhoof has ever done has annoyed the shit out of me, so I guess this would do the trick. Really, I can't think of anything this band does that can realistically be considered "good."
A favorite song that's about sports or a sport...
Kool Keith, "N.B.A." Listening to the entirety of "Spankmaster" is not for the weak-willed or people without a lot of time on their hands, but a track like "N.B.A." makes it all occasionally worthwhile. It's not really even about the Association, so much as it is yet another avenue for Keith to attack wack rappers. Observe,
Why don't you awkward n****s stop rhymin and take a birth control pill/Jackson got you gassed, ask Phil/I'm not impressed with your full court press/Girls with Tyra Banks weaves and Lisa Raye's complexion can step up to the foul line for an AIDS test/My jewelry like big trucks/I don't care if you flash your Milwaukee Bucks.
Uh, word.
A favorite track from an outfit that's considered a "super group"...
I don't think the Zwan project get enough of a chance, and "Honestly" is a pretty terrific song on a pretty good album. But this is no contest: "Get This Money," from the Jay-Z/R. Kelly "Best Of Both Worlds" album. This blog simply isn't big enough for me to truly explain why this is no contest, so it's book territory.
The song that makes you want to drink more beer...
I have something like 5400 songs in my iPod, and every single one of them makes me want to drink more beer. Life makes me want to drink more beer. But I guess to answer this question properly and make my alcoholism seem a little less raging, I'll break it down into categories. I remember getting a lot of play out of the "1965" album from the Afghan Whigs during Beach Week, and that seems to fit the sort of misanthropic, looking-for-trouble drinking when you have no choice but to go to the Spanish Fucking Galleon. Not drinking beer when Ryan Adams is on seems almost negligent; for whatever reason, that's the sort of stuff that goes well with having a beer on a crisp fall day. And "Summerteeth" is the official soundtrack for unseasonable warmth; that CD puts me on the lawn of my fraternity house, playing wiffle ball in shorts even though it's only 63 degrees out in February.
But I'm thinking that this question implies a sort of "what makes you want to drink more beer alone" angle, and I'll go with "Women Without Whiskey" by the Drive-By Truckers. They're another band whose music is obviously geared towards alcohol consumption, but this song in particular is just resignation in its purest sense, sort of like drinking alone.
posted by Ian at 12:49 PM
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